I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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