I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
