what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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