all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
