so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My vagina just clenched in fear
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
