I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We left the knife in your bed.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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