I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
