I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
