Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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