I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
