You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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