I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Come on in and take your pants off
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