Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
