no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
