you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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