That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Randomize
