He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
