one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize