I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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