what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
