Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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