you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
