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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
