I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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