There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
