I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
