ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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