Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize