Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize