Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
a search helicopter?!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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