She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
