singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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