Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
