kristin has been a bad kristin
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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