Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
