yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
