69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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