I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
