I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
