what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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