Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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