I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
