They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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