I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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