And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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