What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
