i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
