..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
