i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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