so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize