Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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