Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Im part way to drunk.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize