i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
