I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He passed out mid-signature
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
