There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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