Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
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I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight