ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
