Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful