when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
