i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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