I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
