I've blown a few things in my day
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
