yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
