dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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