Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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