he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
