Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
